The Joys & Pitfalls Of Dating Single Mothers: Zimbabwe Men Speak Candidly

 

 

Men from Zimbabwe have spoken candidly about the highs and lows of their experiences dating and marrying single mothers.

In Zimbabwe, dating and relationship issues are frequently hot-button topics, particularly the question of dating and marrying single mothers.

Many men seemed eager to share their experiences. Some people had generally satisfying and enlightening experiences. Others, however, had regrettable and dreadful experiences.

The men shared their experiences on social media following a question from Zimbabwe social media personality and cyber-aunt Tete Fadzie.

 

 

Image by wirestock on Freepik

 

Tete Fadzie wrote,

I’m kindly asking those who have been married to/ dated single mothers to share their experiences.

Below are some of the responses by Zimbabwe men on their experiences of dating single mothers.

 

Have been married to a woman 1 took as a single mum for llyears now she’s the absolute best anotozombobhaiza is me and sometimes 1 use marrying her as a single mother as an excuse which is a bad thing to do.. she has no contact whatsoever with the father of the child and the child hasn’t been told or even met her real dad. But am sure some relatives have hinted her, she calls me daddy and 1 treat her like one of mine, she’s in boarding school 1 take care of everything and stay with her. It’s a perfect family we have other kids of our own as well.

I am married to one, boy do i regret. Fellas never ever. At first she was the sweetest girl ever. Now I see why the ex left. Attitude and sucks, no sex at all, haadi hamadzangu, she was raised by a single mum and now am picking up a patten. Haana hunhu and am not exeggrating. She just doesn’t have values. Now we have a son whose 5 and its complex for me to leave. I actually need counseling as am so depressed. Fellaz stay away from these ones.

what happened I the past They have an experience that they wouldn’t want to go back there.They are so respectful. My wife is older then me ne 14years asi hapana anozviziva.They always want to live a life iri open kwete ama 2k venyu ava.My wife is the best.Mudashorw vakadzi ava guys.Not all of them are bad .95% vanhu vatori bhoo.The thing is kuvatuka nekuvashira kwamunoita ma single zvakuita kuti wese ari single ashamed confidence because the society is always against these women.Vanopedzira vamwe vave kuita ma drugs even vana vavo because of what the society see them.You know guys kana munhu achinzi single woman it means there is a child ipapo.Ko mwana akakurira mu society yaanotukirwa mai wake how do you expect that child to grow or think of. Most of these kids will end up kubhawa or doing drugs because of the same community.Lets learn guys kuve ne love and learn not to talk shit about these woman because you need to consider vana vavo.Kuti mukadzi iyeye aite mwana it’s because of a man.Mukadzi uyu haana kurara nemumwe mukadzi but nemurume.We should be talking about men who are not responsible for there kind now not kutaura abt munhu arikutochengeta mwana anonzi haana baba ivo vari zvavo.Men should learn to take responsibility because ndivo honzero yaita kuti mskana aite mimba.Most of the people here are a product of that but hamudi kutaura chokwadi.Many of you makakura muchichengetwa namai asi munondishamisa ne the way yamutuka ma single parents as if iwe wakakura uine both parents.I rest my case zvangu TF.

The Joys & Pitfalls Of Dating Single Mothers: Zimbabwe Men Speak Candidly
Image by FABIAN GODWIN from Pixabay

 

I once dated a single mother and I dont think I would do it again. Even though I never caught her I know she was sleeping with the baby daddy throughout our relationship. The baby daddy would call in my presence and talk about how he wants to give her another kid and she would always laugh it of as if it was nothing even though she saw that I wasnt comfortable with them talking like that. At times I would call her and she would tell me that the baby daddy was at her house visiting. I think that woman couldn’t define boundaries. I wouldnt reccomend dating a single mum because the baby daddy always smashes and as the bf you never have peace of mind.

So I dated a single mum between 2016-2017. From the word go, “her kids come first” and I come second. However, she should come first in my life. The relationship was not so cool because ma frustration of ex-hubby will be vented on you. Mal chaiwo.

I was ‘married’ to one once. Met her with her son and in no time we had our own. Started taking care of the son and took on the role of a father till one day we fought and the next thing she is texting her ex-father of her son saying she wonders how it would have gone if they tried harder. Packed my shit that same night and never looked back. These single mothers have too many ties to the past, unless she a widow stay away. Aggregate should always start 0-0, if there are advantage settings better they be on your side.

She was the most toxic person ever. I got why the other guy left. Thing is her kids were the sweetest kids ever. I become fond of them as they did to me. Ending things with their mom was getting complicated because of the kids. Crazy right, the kids were not mine but I grew to love them like they were my own. She had anger issues, was an alcoholic, used drugs and burn bridges with everyone. The ex is fighting her for custody and honestly, If he asks me to be a witness of why this woman shouldn’t have the kids, I would. It’s been 6 months since I broke up with her but I still communicate with the kids as they have phones. Told them never to tell their mother and countless of times they say I should just adopt them or something because their mother is very toxic. Feel sorry for these kids and hope the father wins the custody battles. And just hope he is half-decent which will be okay for the kids.

I dated a single mother when 1 was in college she was good in her own way, she was really good in bed and taught me a lot in the bedroom department. 1 fell deep but now her she couldn’t because baby daddy was still hovering around and 1 couldn’t visit her place or kids. Eventually it broke down but when 1 graduated n all we some how had a friends with benefits situation and we could have sex. Her situation with ex husband had been closed she had her own place and all. I eventually ghosted her because she was now becoming too possessive and projecting her ex husbands behavior on me. In conclusion single mothers a sweet and genuine people but really need extra care because they fear to get hurt or to put their kids in a dilemma of being introduced to so different men.

She was the most toxic person ever. I got why the other guy left. Thing is her kids were the sweetest kids ever. I become fond of them as they did to me. Ending things with their mom was getting complicated because of the kids. Crazy right, the kids were not mine but I grew to love them like they were my own. She had anger issues, was an alcoholic, used drugs and burn bridges with everyone. The ex is fighting her for custody and honestly If he asks me to be a witness of why this woman shouldn’t have the kids, I would. It’s been 6 months since I broke up with her but I still communicate with the kids as they have phones. Told them never to tell their mother and countless of times they say I should just adopt them or something because their mother is very toxic. Feel sorry for these kids and hope the father wins the custody battles. And just hope he is half decent which will be okay for the kids.

I dated one, She was an amazing woman to be honest, we were good. But I would say the main problem is no matter what happens you can never get the baby daddy out of the picture and thats something you have to consider if you are planning long term commitment. That is the biggest downside.

Dated a single mom before it wasn’t a good experience. Her baby daddy did a number on her and somehow it would always be my duty to apologize for the oans mistakes. Intimacy was irregular and inconsistent not to mention weird. She would demand you were 2 condoms and pause mid strokes to see if your still wearing them hanzi “varume munoda nyoro stereki”. Communication was weak and if she wasn’t complaining about her ex she was talking about her child( not that I had a problem with her having a baby but I needed some adult conversation with my significant other). Maybe she had alot of trauma from the past but the relationship was more of me care taking and fixing other people’s mess. Eventually we broke up and within 2 weeks she moved back in with the man who beat her till she lost her baby. Since then I’ve decide to leave single mothers be. The whole “me and my ex are over” act is just a routine gents don’t fall for it they always go back. For all young bucks out there the whole single mom promised land of sex and being loved handina kuiona maybe I was just unlucky) but I wouldn’t advise it .Just assume that a women who was once married is still married no matter zvavakaitana. Now I’m bagging age appropriate huns 1822, sex is great, no baggage, no trauma and things are going great…. Stay woke majita

Hie TF, 1 am married to an Ml we are clocking 15years now we have 2boyw and a girl plus her older kid, 1 must say we have had our share of struggles just like any other couple out there, but this has been a wonderfull gift God gave me. When we started we sat and talked I liked how she opened up and was so honest with me from day 1 including baby daddy issue. The guy has never been an issue in our relationship he is actually married and has his family 1 noticed kuti the father side of the kid they dont want to have anything to do with her they are even so distant nadaddy vake the dad focuses on his children and wife, so the kid grew up to be closer to me and my relatives.

On holidays anotoinsisster kuenda kwamai vangu anovati gogo vake chaiye because she feels love, on the other hand her real granny anerough isingaite pese mwana paienda aidzoka aritraumertised. Like I said mine is a very good relation we have acheived a lot with this woman I found as an M1 she actually contributed a lot to what I have become, l work a very high paying job and recently we moved to a bigger house, tine tumahustle that we do on the side. She is fun to be with very respectifull my relatives love her, her relatives love me too as their own, even though they used to give her hard time for having a child out of wedlock, if I were to chose dating again I will date her again and again. Ndaimboporonga ndinomboporonga zvisingaite but this one stands by me, there was a time earlier in our relationship where I really fell on to hard times she was still a teacher then she stood by me when I couldnt even provide for the family, now we are successiful together and I cannot be prouder than that. Not all single moms are bad of course there are others vanoshandiswa nasatan. The key is to be open in these things.

The experienced was rough but it taugh me a number of lessons. 1.The insecurity was of another level. I’m sometimes busy at work that I won’t be online & I explained to her said she understood but it was always I had to explain why I wasn’t online. 2. It was all about her children what I should do for them & I should be father to them but not a day would she ask for my then if I mention to her that why does it seem I have to be a father to yours but you seem not to care about mine she would attack me. 3. The sex was irregular she would give it to you when she wants(if she wants something) & she would ask you to finish fast showing she was not emotionally connected. 4. The relationship was suppose to go according to her pace because she said she was hurt before. 5. Every good thing I do was not heartily appreciated because “man we can change anytime”. 6. There was no trust, there was no honest she was mostly disconnected because she said she was hurt before. Ask her if she loves me she would say yes but the relationship was like pulling a haulage truck with a bycicle, mission impossible.

I once dated a single mom, she told me her story about her exhusband and I was like okay. One thing I realized was that, whenever I would do something for her kid, she was very appreciative and she would be more respectful to me.

 

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The Joys & Pitfalls Of Dating Single Mothers: Zimbabwe Men Speak Candidly
Image by Lawrence Crayton from Pixabay

Im married to a woman with a child from a previous relationship. I wont lie, when we started dating it was a struggle and I almost left her. She was a bitter person, always suspicious of me, always accusing me of cheating, just insecure. I later realised she was mistaking me for her ex. When I made it clear to her that I was not that guy, she dropped down her guard and I saw the nicest person ever. She doesn’t ask for much. She’s just happy that I love her and its enough for her. I think she’s actually surprised that someone could actually love her like that so she appreciates me and makes me feel like a king. Marriage & 2 kids later, she’s the one for me. In another life I’d pick her again. We do have our struggles and fights every now and then just like any other couple. Our main struggle is that of MY family who still cannot fully accept her. At times I wonder what the ex saw bad in this woman coz thus far I have no regrets. Her kid stays with us btw and she’s the sweetest 6 year old ever.

Haa booys ini hangu ndakanakwa neMl rangu randakaita 3 years ndiinaro. pakuzoda kuti ndikande pakitchen machembere akajamuka, akarwadziwa asi akanzwisisa coz naye aitoona ari mahorror coz haa mabatiro avaimuita aisava right but i regret hangu kumusiya, should have tried to stand my ground. aiva nerudo mhani munhu iyeye, respect bhoo, sex bhoo, maideas neintellect bhoo. Side hustle ririkundipa mari now yakawanda kudarika yekubasa ndakaritanga naye. Nanhasi handisati ndaroora hangu after 3 years coz vana vandikuwana haa boys hapana ati asvika palevel raMl iyeye. ndakazombozama kumudzokera akatotorwawo nevamwe jahman and haa kana friendship zvayo akajamuka.

When dating single mothers always ask if the father of the child is still in the picture & what her own family thinks about the father & if they want her to get back with the father for the sake of the child. You need explicit answers on these 3 things coz I’ll tell you from experience,the main sabotage to such a relationship are the woman’s family. Overall dating women with children is really no different from dating women with no children. A woman looking for a father for her kids is actually more intentional in loving & respecting you, that’s if you are the type of man able to love her & her kids. Dated a single mother once got burned but if I do it again next time, I’, doing the 3 things I mentioned 1st.

i wouldnt recommend. I dated one for a few months, when I tried ending things (i had strong reasons to suspect infidelity) she wanted to black mail me saying “its because i have a child and you never loved my child” i had not even been introduced to the kid nor evn though i had sent a few gifts and what not.

I would never recommend such… I dated one and I got the worst shocks of my life. Discovered she was still secretly seeing the baby daddy and having raw intimacy. She cheated with multiple men and would try to manipulate the situation as if I was crazy. To think I even supported her kid with money and gifts only to be betrayed. Single mothers who stay alone cannot be tamed. She will be tasting every male organ in the name of looking for a father for her kid. And whenever the baby daddy shows up she’s gonna give up the coochie. It doesn’t need a rocket scientist to understand.

 

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